I've got talent.

I was in a western bar and I was going to show all of the men in there how to play the guitar. I had a plastic toy that was a cowboy holding a guitar, and where the strings were was just one big hunk of yellow plastic. When I pushed the plastic in, it would make music.
Well, I would push it with different fingers to make it look like I was playing, and music came out, but it sounded like a piano, not a guitar! Not that anyone seemed to mind.
A blond girl approached me and begged me to come to the bathroom with her so she wouldn't be alone. She was scared because something bad had happened to her, and I sympathized and went with her. I played my guitar-man for her while she peed and washed her hands.
Suddenly, Tom was in the bathroom and the guitar was gone. We started kissing very passionately right there in front of the blond girl. Tom became aware of the girl by the sink and stopped kissing me to walk over to the shower in the bathroom that was all nasty with green mold. He said "How am I supposed to start a business with something like this?" and flushed the shower.
The water went down then came rushing back and shot up in the air like a fountain. We were looking at it with wonder when out of the corner of my eye I saw on the side of the shower a GIGANTIC spider! Its body had to be bigger than a baseball and it talked! No one in the room could figure out where it had come from. It scrambled around the room and I held up my shoe to it to squish it, but realized there was no way I could squish it with a shoe, it was HUGE! Closer up, I could see that it was brown with spikes all over it, like a cactus. The spider disappeared into the chimney, or so we thought. Standing there, I realized it was crawling up the back of my leg and it said "I'm going to crawl up your shorts! HAHA!" When I pushed it off of my leg, its spines stuck my right hand. Someone chased the spider out the door.
My hand was seeping clear liquid where I had touched the spines. My mom was in the room now, but didn't seem particularly worried, so I suggested I go to the hospital.
No one would take me to the hospital, so there I was, wandering around a big office with my hand seeping. There were groups of young attorneys in the offices eating lunch and laughing with their doors closed. I didn't know where to go and I didn't know anyone.